


The Experiment

by evanderblake



Series: Good Game [1]
Category: Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Drugs, Fluffy, Good Game, Lots of Crying, Other, Panic Attack, Pre-Relationship, Reader Insert, Weed, alex taylor - Freeform, anxiety attack, first time smoking weed, gender neutral reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-07
Updated: 2018-03-07
Packaged: 2019-03-28 02:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13894635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evanderblake/pseuds/evanderblake
Summary: Alex convinces you try weed for the first time, and things don't go exactly as planned.A/N: I've never smoked weed, but I did some reading that it can amplify anxiety, so that's what I was going for. Sorry if this is inaccurate. It was a special request for a tumblr mutual!





	The Experiment

**Author's Note:**

> For tumblr user @avidxmn!

“… how do you feel?” 

“I don’t feel anything yet.”

He just giggled, shaking his mass of tangled, curly hair. “Give it ten minutes.”

You sat there, legs crossed on the floor across from Alex with a bong between you. The carpet felt stiff against your legs, most of which were exposed as you decided to wear shorts that day. It was hot, almost 90 degrees in his cramped living room, with furniture all shoved about to make room for your little… experiment. The humid air was almost suffocating, and on top of that, you had just inhaled a large about of THC, which was now circulating through your lungs, preparing to take effect. 

“Anything yet?” Alex giggled once more. 

“Dude, shut up and I’ll fuckin’ let you know when I start feeling weird!” you retort sharply. You noticed after you’d replied that your voice sounded agitated. And maybe you were just a little on edge, nervous about what would happen to you, paranoid that the paraphernalia was laced with something dangerous or deadly, even though Alex had reassured you time and time again that it was absolutely, one-hundred percent safe. “Sorry, I’m just… anxious, I guess,” you breathe, rubbing your sweaty hands together.

He didn’t even notice the tone of your voice or the way your muscles seemed to tense up with each breath you took. “Dude, you gotta calm on down. This is supposed to be relaaaaaxing,” Alex slurred as he nudged the bong closer to you. “Take another hit.”

The clicking noise of the lighter seemed too loud, and your deep inhale was a bit exaggerated. Out through your nose, and then you waited. And waited. And suddenly you weren’t just tense or nervous anymore; your shoulders began to shake, and your eyes started to water… or were you crying? You couldn’t tell. It felt like you were having an anxiety attack.  
Maybe you were? Maybe this was all in your head?

It was hard to tell. Your grasp on reality wasn’t exactly all there in that moment; nonetheless, you knew that this wasn’t normal. The stark contrast between you, a shaking disaster, and Alex, an over-relaxed god, was enough evidence of that. 

“A-alex…” you stuttered, placing one hand over your chest as you tried to control your unsteady breathing. 

His eyes, which had been closed for the past few minutes, opened quite suddenly, and within seconds he was at your side, running his fingertips down your spine and keeping a close eye on your expression. 

“This isn’t n-normal?” you questioned, out of breath. 

Alex smirked, “It’s different for everyone. Usually it like, calms anxiety? But sometimes it can make everything worse. And with the way you were freakin’ out about it earlier…”

“Y-you never kn-know what’s in this sh-shit,” you struggle to say, your hand pressing into your chest as your lungs throbbed beneath your touch. 

Alex rolled his eyes, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “My friend grows it himself, man. No dangerous drugs involved. You gotta stop worrying about that. You know I’d never let anyone hurt you.” 

You saw the realization in his eyes as he said that statement; it was contradictory in that, while he would never let anyone hurt you, he himself had hurt you in a way. He allowed you to partake in the experiment, even though he knew your concerns about the whole thing. 

“Shit…” he muttered, leaning away. “I ruin everything. This was a bad idea.”

He was a few feet away from you now, leaving you to shudder helplessly on your own. His face in his hands, he was completely silent; even his breathing seemed to stop. You, however, could not stop your harsh gasps, feeling as though you might die on that gross, pokey carpet. 

You reached out, grabbing his hand, and his head shot up instantly. There were tears pooling in the corners of his eyes as he looked at you, the regret and remorse pouring from his pupils. Your heart broke for him, but this quite honestly wasn’t about him. This was about you, panicked and unstable as you were, struggling to catch your breath.

“L-listen,” you stuttered. “You c-can feel sorry f-for yourself l-l-later, okay? I need y-you right now.”

“It would be better if I just left. You don’t need me here. I’ll only make things worse,” Alex muttered, pulling his hand away slowly. 

You were spiraling fast, falling further and further away from a good state of mind. Words seemed impossible to form on your trembling, chapped lips. You needed him. You needed help in general, and there was nowhere to turn. You were convinced that this would be the end, that there was something in the weed that would kill you, that you would pass out and never wake up. 

“A-alex,” you said with an overwhelming desperation in your voice. “I need you r-right now. I’m not j-j-joking.”

His hand was almost instantly back in yours as he scooted closer. “What can I do?” he mumbled, unenthused.

You were still gasping for air, clutching at your chest. “Just s-sit here w-with me. Don’t y-you mo-ove.”

He nodded, leaning on your shoulder, listening to your labored breathing. Your hand, still clasped tightly together with his, was freezing cold against his too-hot skin. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered softly.

You nodded, because you knew if you spoke you’d probably cry.

“I didn’t… intend for this to happen. I shouldn’t have forced you to do this,” he explained, his voice wavering, his nervousness suddenly very obvious.

Your head rested on top of his fluffy, scraggly hair. “I know that, A-alex…”

A choked sob erupted from his mouth. “I don’t w-want you t-to be in p-pain!”

His body practically caved in on itself, hunching over and pulling his head down to his knees, weeping unabashedly at his fault. You could almost feel your heart stop at the sight of his own heart breaking, and your breathing slowed until you were holding your breath, unsure of what to do, of how to comfort him. 

And then you realized that his outburst had… calmed you? Somehow. You rationed that, because you cared so much for him, you were more concerned with his current state than what the weed might do to you. That he took priority over you, that he was… more important than you? You weren’t sure how to sort out the wave of feelings that rushed over you, but that didn’t matter in the moment. You needed to be there for him.

“Lexi, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” you pleaded, brushing your fingers down his back. “This isn’t your fault. It’s my fault! I got all… stuck in my head. I was panicking when I had no reason to! I should have just trusted you!” you explained almost angrily, wanting nothing but to take his pain away. 

He tried to take a deep breath but sobbed once more. You weren’t sure what to do at this point, already reassuring him and giving small, comforting touches. So, you grabbed his shoulder and pulled him onto the floor and curled around him, though you didn’t quite measure up to his height. And together, you laid on the disgusting, prickly carpet, crying together. 

After a short while, you laid there in silence, one arm hooked around his waist, gently stroking your fingers up and down his midsection. Alex’s sobbing had stopped, and he was breathing heavily. 

“Alex?” You whispered in his ear. You could feel him shiver.

“Mmm?” he groaned beneath you. You could see the corner of his mouth turn upward in a dazed smile; it made you feel warm.

“I… don’t think I like weed. Sorry.”

He chuckled, turning onto his back so he could get a proper look at you. “Really? After all that… all that fun we just had?” 

Your contemplative expression loosened into a wide grin as you laid on your back next to him. You felt him grasping at your hand as he snuggled up beside you. Within minutes he was sleeping against your shoulder. And while your experiment with marijuana hadn’t gone as planned, you were thankful for this experience in a different way; it had brought you closer.


End file.
